Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
