I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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