first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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