I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize