I don't think brook has ever known best
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
