and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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