TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I love you.
Bad choice
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
