I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
