dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
