see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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