the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
