what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
soo... how was my night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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