? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
