I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
