Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
