i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
