Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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