You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
