I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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