Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Randomize
