Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
