I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
