That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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