she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
