So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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