My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
handjob tips. give me some.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
