we have pet lesbian snakes
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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