I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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