some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
