I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
