Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
no you cant smoke seaweed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
