Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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