She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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