Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
