considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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