elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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