So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
