i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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