Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
