just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
