I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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