oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
