Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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