What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
