Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
