the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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