He disabled his match.com account in front of me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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