I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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