Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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