I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize