I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
