it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
