but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
