i already hear my dad disowning me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
handjob tips. give me some.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
