Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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