your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize