so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
