lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i have herpe
just one?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
