If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
