So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
