a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
