You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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