real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
