yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
