I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
