Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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