Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
