At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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