Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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