I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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